In the Right Direction

On August 18th of this year, I stepped into ‘retirement’. That was a bit more than three months ago. Three months have gone by! How time flies! So far it’s been an interesting experience.

At my retirement party, I was asked about what was next for me. My response was a true Ginette response, of course! I tend to be quite an open book, maybe a tad too much at times. My response went somewhat like this… “First I want to put my energy into re-building myself, my self-confidence. I’ve done quite a number on myself in the past few years and I want to change this. Once I’ve done this, I’ll see what comes next.”. I said more than this but that is the gist of it. It’s been more than three months now. How is this re-building job going?

As I contemplate this question, I realize that perhaps ‘re-building myself’ are not exactly the right words and maybe not even the right intent. Firstly, these words are heavy with judgments. Secondly, they eradicate any forward movement I might have done in the past few years. And finally, these words are telling me that I’m not good enough as I am right now and that until I have achieved this ideal goal of re-building myself and my confidence I cannot enjoy being at peace with myself. What if increasing being at peace with myself was the ideal goal? Wouldn’t the rest naturally follow?

In the past 3 months, the necessity of accepting myself as I am has become very evident. This is the first step. It makes no sense to want to change things about myself if I haven’t yet accepted myself as I am now, today. Interestingly, this is something that is happening naturally within myself, bit by bit. I’m surrendering more and more to what is. I’m aware that this is happening on a very small scale and that I have a long way to fully accepting myself as I am. However, I am moving in the right direction and I choose to celebrate this. That in itself brings me peace of mind. In this now moment.

4 Replies to “In the Right Direction”

  1. I heard somewhere that “now” is the only ” true” moment,.. alllll other times,… yesterday and tomorrow are not “real” moments,… so to be in the “now” is where the soul resides ,,… to nourish the soul,… NOW is the time !! love this ,.. love me ,.. love you !! xxoo 🙂 Christine smilin @ you ,… NOW !! 🙂

    • I have heard that somewhere too, Christine. We must be hanging out in similar ‘somewheres’. Thanks for the reminder. Now is the time indeed, my sweet friend!

  2. Beautifully said! Going deeply into yourself is a gift! I love it when I ask questions and the Universe gives me an experience, thought, word, poem, inspiration answer. Your words touch me! Thank you.

    • It is definitely a gift, Kathie! Definitely not a natural for me but I’m learning. I’m glad my words touch you 🙂 Thanks for your lovely comments!

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