Self-Rejection

I’ve been listening to some of the interviews from the Self-Acceptance Summit presented by Sounds True and I’m really enjoying it. Today is day 3 of a 10-day summit. There are 3 interviews a day and they are available for 24 hours. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I really love Sounds True. So much, in fact, that I will have to see if they have an affiliate program. It offers products that are good for my soul.

One of the interviews I’ve listened to is Fierce Authenticity with JP Sears. Some of you might be familiar with him. He is the “Ultra Spiritual’ guy on YouTube. If you don’t know him, you got to check out his “How to be Ultra Spiritual” video. It is quite funny! I like his satirical comedy and have listen to many of his videos at some point. So I got curious as to what he had to offer to this Self-Acceptance Summit. Well, I had the pleasure to meet the other side of JP Sears, his serious side. Here’s something I didn’t know, JP Sears is an Emotional Healing Coach and Teacher. How cool is that! An Emotional Healing Coach. I love that! So it turns out that he had a whole lot of goodness to offer to the Self-Acceptance Summit.

There were numerous gold nuggets in what JP Sears shared. All were very powerful! I want to share this gold nugget with you all. I think this so important to know this. So important!

When we are busy trying to be who we think we need to be, we are simultaneously rejecting ourselves.

Wow, right? That makes a whole lot of sense to me! Of course! If the truth be known (and let it be known!) I’m very good at self-rejection! Every time I think that I’m not doing enough, that I’m doing too much of this or that, that I need to be this way and that way to be evolved, spiritual, a better wife, a better mother, you name it; I’m telling myself that who I am – right now – isn’t good enough and that I’m a failure. In essence, I reject myself. I reject myself! This realization brings out real sadness in me. I do this to myself and that is very sad.

After I moved away from the toxic environment I grew up in my early 20s,  becoming a better person became my guiding light. For the first 5 years, I became very religious. I was Catholic at the time and at some point, I attended daily church services. Through this I gathered a huge lists of ‘do and don’t’ on how to become a better person. Then I moved away from religion and dove head first into self-help through reading, courses, retreats and psychotherapy. At that point, I had let go of some of my ‘ do and don’t’ from my Catholic list of how to be a better person and that was definitely not a bad thing. However though my foray into self-help, I gathered an even longer list of ‘do and don’t’. Unfortunately, I can see now, that my list of ‘do and don’t’ on how to become a better person has been instrumental in perpetuating the rejection of who I am.

At this point, I’m not sure what to think of the self-help movement. With the passing of Louise Hay, one of the fonder of the self-help movement, I’ve had the opportunity to think about this. I guess it is like everything, it has a light side and a shadow side. The bottom line is that as long as we are pursuing our ideal of a better self through our list of ‘do and don’t’, we are negating and therefore rejecting the person that we already are. We are negating and rejecting the person that is already the best he/she can be in this now moment.

Yes I am sad at the realization that I have rejected myself over and over again through my ‘do and don’t’ list.  But now that I know this, I can make different choices for myself, choices that convey love, self-compassion and self-acceptance to myself. I deserve this! I’m worth this! Thank you JP Sears!

8 Replies to “Self-Rejection”

  1. Ah yes the yin an yang of life,.. light, dark ,.. hot cold,.. happy sad ,. generous , greedy its all part of the human experience all sides,… acceptance period for me ,. is a peaceful place ,… yep ME 🙂
    I love the way you write,.. its kinda like if you were just talking ,. I like that ! xxoo Christine just being me and smilin and lol tooooo 🙂

    • Christine, yes! The yin yang of life, ever present! You are so right. It is part of the human experience and accepting this brings us to a more peaceful state of mind. Amen, sistah!

  2. What wonderful insight, Ginette! Thank you for sharing this. One thing I’ve found in regards to more fully accepting who we are is that we have relied too much on the “gurus.” So in essence, giving our power away.
    Not that I’d say Louise is about that as I very much appreciated so much of what she taught. And what I loved about her is that she was about empowering others to love themselves – that it is indeed an inside job – and we can’t rely on others to do this for us.
    But oh yes, indeed, how often we self-sabotage ourselves, but like you said, once we become aware, we can work to be kind to ourselves for where we are in any given moment.

    • You are very welcome, Barbara! Thank you for your comment. Yes, giving our power away… to gurus, to doctors, to so many people. It is easy to give something away that we might not know we have in the first place or that we don’t value for the great asset that it is for our lives. Here’s to self-empowerment, self-awareness and self-compassion!

  3. I ditto exactly what Barbara said! I was about to say more or less the same thing when I read her comments. This was such a freeing realization for me a few years ago – I could feel the weight coming off my shoulders when I gave myself permission to just be me. Now I’m off to meet this JP Sears!

    • Thank you for your comment and sharing about your freeing realization, Marie. That is awesome! Giving yourself permission is a big thing!

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